Day 4
Well, I found my notebook at L's house when I arrived this morning. It was a cloudy, rainy morning this morning and I really enjoyed it. You know how when the clouds make everything quiet? It was like that this morning.
When I arrived I thought I was going to be the last one there, but I was 2nd, which worked out ok. I had one on one time with L working sitting and leaning forward in Primary. We started with me pushing a chair away - more tipping I guess really. It was thinking about going to Primary, going from the shoulders (forward), hips(back), knees (forward) and heels (back). I had to avoid "jamming" when I stood. It was really obvious to me when I did it was jarring.
Then I went and worked with C. My head engagement needs to stop when coming up. It should come from the torso and the head is supposed to just be a long for the ride - once again sending the hips back. I don't do that enough, allow my hips to do much of what should be done.
We then came together and C read to us about "fixing" from the book "new approach to AT" (at least I'm pretty sure that's what it was from). The gist was about trying to hold on to the new feel-good experiences which becomes counter intuitive because we are again end-gaming. For example, we get our head up and back and free and wow, dang, that feels good so we then tighten our muscles around this new feel-good thing and totally ruin the whole up and free we had going on.
We need to inhibit fixing.
Fixing occurs when we feel unsafe. This tied into something that was said a little later in our discussion about faulty understanding and questioning. When we are questioned about something are we questioning because we are wanting to reassure a fixed idea? Or are we actually questioning because we are confused and need help?
Fixing doesn't help us. I mentioned the Idee' fix in Berlioz Symphonie Fantastique, the recurring theme that keeps coming back throughout the piece of music in question, just to make sure I was understanding "fixing" as being something that comes back and doesn't change - I was pretty much on track.
The one thing I liked best about fixing was this - "Fixed ideas can interfere with the process of changing."
Man, truer words huh?
A fixed idea arises first, there is no inhibition, we must be able to question and be aware, we must decide to inhibit. You can't hold onto something and catch something else.
L talked about his first out of training experience with inhibition and how it is not armor and how you tend to feel more. He said that in a meeting not long after his training he was so aware of the tension and stress in the room that he physically reacted (slight panic, constricted voice, lack of focus), something he would not have done even a year previous to this time. Why? Because inhibiting had allowed him to feel, to be aware of the "vibe."
Inhibition is developmental, it changes as you change. There is nothing fixed that develops, hence, we stop development with fixed ideas. Good use (physical or otherwise) is the capacity to develop.
For example:
"I think so and so is upset with me, well, ok." With no reaction to that on our part we have inhibited but without asking questions or finding out if/why so and so is upset and then, perhaps, making amends or coming to a consensus there is no development. So it becomes more fixed.
All of this makes sense to me. I look at my own family and see how this line of being has affected them and me. We HAVE to do X, this is the way we've ALWAYS done it, we must eat this BRAND. I see how that has made many in my family rigid in the way they do things unable and unwilling to be able to change or make a change and be, well, at least Ok with it (if not happy). As we sat at break discussing this and many of the things that made us who we are and how we revert to old patterns when we are in familiar situations I realized I wasn't the only one. Both C and L talked about how they were in situations where they had to stand for what was no longer a fixed idea and how their family and friends reacted. L said his Dad was mad, but he also said that after a number of years they came to understand why he reacted (or didn't react) the way he used to to various things.
When I mentioned that I didn't want to be that way (the old non-movable, unchanging way) everyone at the table, almost together said "you won't be." That was reassuring, I really enjoy these people I'm so happy to be working with them for the next few years.
After break we talked about spirals, we laid on our stomach and L snapped his fingers by our head and we had to follow the snapping by spiraling to our back. My hips led. HA! Of course they did!
But after a couple of times I had it going.
Spirals vs Twisting = transfer of weight vs. localized turning on an axis
Perfect sense! Spirals automatically destabilize they bring you into movement they don't keep you there. Just like a spiraly spring.
Then we practiced that by looking over our shoulder, shifting weight to one leg or the other and spiraling to look. It's amazing how far you can actually spiral when you have solid direction and keep your body free.
This has been a really weird week. I think it may be a hold over from last week too - becoming a Gramma and being up late/early for baby and stuff last week, then being in the ER this week and starting class while I'm not feeling anywhere close to 100%. I wish my body would get its issues worked out, I'm tired of being exhausted all of the time and I have to wait until the 9th to go back to the dr - bleah.
When I arrived I thought I was going to be the last one there, but I was 2nd, which worked out ok. I had one on one time with L working sitting and leaning forward in Primary. We started with me pushing a chair away - more tipping I guess really. It was thinking about going to Primary, going from the shoulders (forward), hips(back), knees (forward) and heels (back). I had to avoid "jamming" when I stood. It was really obvious to me when I did it was jarring.
Then I went and worked with C. My head engagement needs to stop when coming up. It should come from the torso and the head is supposed to just be a long for the ride - once again sending the hips back. I don't do that enough, allow my hips to do much of what should be done.
We then came together and C read to us about "fixing" from the book "new approach to AT" (at least I'm pretty sure that's what it was from). The gist was about trying to hold on to the new feel-good experiences which becomes counter intuitive because we are again end-gaming. For example, we get our head up and back and free and wow, dang, that feels good so we then tighten our muscles around this new feel-good thing and totally ruin the whole up and free we had going on.
We need to inhibit fixing.
Fixing occurs when we feel unsafe. This tied into something that was said a little later in our discussion about faulty understanding and questioning. When we are questioned about something are we questioning because we are wanting to reassure a fixed idea? Or are we actually questioning because we are confused and need help?
Fixing doesn't help us. I mentioned the Idee' fix in Berlioz Symphonie Fantastique, the recurring theme that keeps coming back throughout the piece of music in question, just to make sure I was understanding "fixing" as being something that comes back and doesn't change - I was pretty much on track.
The one thing I liked best about fixing was this - "Fixed ideas can interfere with the process of changing."
Man, truer words huh?
A fixed idea arises first, there is no inhibition, we must be able to question and be aware, we must decide to inhibit. You can't hold onto something and catch something else.
L talked about his first out of training experience with inhibition and how it is not armor and how you tend to feel more. He said that in a meeting not long after his training he was so aware of the tension and stress in the room that he physically reacted (slight panic, constricted voice, lack of focus), something he would not have done even a year previous to this time. Why? Because inhibiting had allowed him to feel, to be aware of the "vibe."
Inhibition is developmental, it changes as you change. There is nothing fixed that develops, hence, we stop development with fixed ideas. Good use (physical or otherwise) is the capacity to develop.
For example:
"I think so and so is upset with me, well, ok." With no reaction to that on our part we have inhibited but without asking questions or finding out if/why so and so is upset and then, perhaps, making amends or coming to a consensus there is no development. So it becomes more fixed.
All of this makes sense to me. I look at my own family and see how this line of being has affected them and me. We HAVE to do X, this is the way we've ALWAYS done it, we must eat this BRAND. I see how that has made many in my family rigid in the way they do things unable and unwilling to be able to change or make a change and be, well, at least Ok with it (if not happy). As we sat at break discussing this and many of the things that made us who we are and how we revert to old patterns when we are in familiar situations I realized I wasn't the only one. Both C and L talked about how they were in situations where they had to stand for what was no longer a fixed idea and how their family and friends reacted. L said his Dad was mad, but he also said that after a number of years they came to understand why he reacted (or didn't react) the way he used to to various things.
When I mentioned that I didn't want to be that way (the old non-movable, unchanging way) everyone at the table, almost together said "you won't be." That was reassuring, I really enjoy these people I'm so happy to be working with them for the next few years.
After break we talked about spirals, we laid on our stomach and L snapped his fingers by our head and we had to follow the snapping by spiraling to our back. My hips led. HA! Of course they did!
But after a couple of times I had it going.
 |
| This is what we were doing |
Spirals vs Twisting = transfer of weight vs. localized turning on an axis
Perfect sense! Spirals automatically destabilize they bring you into movement they don't keep you there. Just like a spiraly spring.
Then we practiced that by looking over our shoulder, shifting weight to one leg or the other and spiraling to look. It's amazing how far you can actually spiral when you have solid direction and keep your body free.
This has been a really weird week. I think it may be a hold over from last week too - becoming a Gramma and being up late/early for baby and stuff last week, then being in the ER this week and starting class while I'm not feeling anywhere close to 100%. I wish my body would get its issues worked out, I'm tired of being exhausted all of the time and I have to wait until the 9th to go back to the dr - bleah.
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